I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
