Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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