Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
