sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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