I want to stick my p in your. b.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
