i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
