So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
