The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
