The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Send help, water and tortillas.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
