and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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