We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
