Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
