Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
