She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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