What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm passing your future prison.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
