that's an acceptable place to lick
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
