Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Pants 0. Shit 1.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
