you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I understand Curling. That high.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
