i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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