Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
