3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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