I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
