Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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