Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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