I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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