You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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