Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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