There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
