I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I can't turn off my feet"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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