And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
