i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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