You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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