can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
