i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
