is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
