her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
