i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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