He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
