Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
