the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
