I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
