did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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