So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
