her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
