It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
