I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
