Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
