I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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