it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
