hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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