what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
