Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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