somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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